Answering Your Kid’s Questions About . . . the Birds and Bees
In “10 Questions Your Kids Will Ask About Sex” (Harvest House), we share that your kids really DO want you to talk to them about life and love and the birds and the bees. There are a few tips that will help those conversations go better.So picking up from the last blog post also remember to:
Don’t freak out. Some topics might come up before you want them to. Try to talk with your child gently and reasonably, without getting emotional or frazzled. Take a few breaths, pray, take a walk, or whatever you need to do so that your emotions are in check and stable.
It might seem easier to talk to Mom, but teens who live in intact homes with Dad involved are much less likely to be involved in premarital sex and risky behaviors. If the father is involved as a positive, active role model for his sons and daughters, the children will make better choices. It is in your child’s best interest (if possible) to involve both parents in discussions on love, sex, and dating.
Bring God into the Talk
Moral and religious convictions do make a difference. One study indicated that girls are less likely to have premarital sex if their mothers cited moral or religious reasons in their discussions. (Conversely, the more liberal the daughter perceived her mother’s values to be, the more likely she was to have sex—and have it younger and with more partners.)In a recent study, 45 percent of teenage boys cited religion to be the main factor in their sexual decisions.
Talk Because It Makes a Difference
According to authors Stan and Brenna Jones, “The closer the child says his or her relationship is with parents, the less likely the child is to be having sex. A close relationship between parent and child appears to instill in the child the desire to want to live out the values and moral beliefs of the parent.” In a national survey more than nine of ten teens agreed that among the benefits of waiting to have sex is enjoying the respect of parents. Mom and Dad—you do make a difference!
Bill and Pam Farrel are relationship specialists, Directors of Love-Wise, and authors of over 38 books including Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti and their newest, 10 Questions Kids Will Ask About Sex. www.Love-Wise.com