Restoring Relationships

0 comments Posted on May 1, 2013

Finding Hope in the Midst of Pain

by Michelle Borquez

We talk about it in hushed tones. We hope it will never happen to us. It wreaks emotional, financial and even physical havoc on those in its path. It destroys family, upends friendships and leaves an indelible mark on children; often for the rest of their lives. Though we have more resources for building and maintaining marriage than at any time in history, the sad reality is marriages, even Christian ones, are at risk. A broken relationship or painful divorce assails both heart and home, shattering dreams and fracturing families.

In her new book, From Divorce to Wholeness, one of six new mini-books with Aspire Press, an imprint of Rose Publishing, Michelle Borquez unpacks the ingredients needed to rebuild after the pain of divorce. “We can choose to grow or to resent, we can choose to surrender or resist, we can choose to be better or to be bitter. Our choices will dictate the outcome of the season. Growing, surrendering, and becoming better will glean an outcome of victory.”

1596367601In the midst of or the aftermath of a painful divorce it is easy to feel the numbness and pain for what seems like a crushing failure. Borquez reminds us, “God is more interested in what you do with your circumstances and what you become as a result of your circumstances than he is in your circumstances themselves.”  From Divorce to Wholeness is part of a new Freedom Series from Aspire Press and intended to bring hope and healing to areas where women often feel only shame.
Borquez is an advocate for seeking the kind of wholeness that comes only in surrendering our lives to the healing power of the cross. A victim of rape and divorce herself, she uses her own experiences to gently guide others through the seasons of pain which are often shrouded in shame. “The things life brings to destroy us are the very things he uses to reveal his bountiful love for us,” says Borquez.

The mini-books deal with sensitive themes such as abortion, abuse, fear, abandonment, deception, and rebuilding life after an affair. Her series is designed to help individuals but also provide resources for churches where hurting people often seek solace. The good news is that Christians who have been through the pain of a divorce have a greater likelihood of putting their lives together afterward. They recover three times more quickly in spite of the trauma, finding hope and future direction in the midst of their uncertainty.

Life after divorce does not have to be the end. Rather, Borquez encourages us to see it as an opportunity to build and grow from the heartbreak while giving God a chance to redeem and restore our brokenness.  She encourages readers to focus on healthy friendships, their children’s security and well-being, rebuilding self-esteem, and leaning into God’s loving arms. As strong as we think we are, divorced people often feel displaced and disconnected within the church. The goal of the Freedom Series is to provide the tools women need to recover and thrive long after their lives have been upended by trauma. Borquez reminds readers, “Where there is life, there is always hope.”

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