Teaching Your Kids a Healthy, Biblical View of Sex
by Joel Fitzpatrick
Talking about sex in almost any context is awkward. But, then you layer the fear of messing up your kids by saying the wrong thing, and the talk can seem like a tough mountain to climb. But there is good news—God loves you, He loves your kids, and He has given you His Spirit to help you give your kids a healthy, biblical view of sex. God doesn’t shy away from talking about sex. He knows that it is an important part of who we are, so He tells us about it.
God is not shy when it comes to sex. He created sex and He gave it as a good gift to draw Adam and Eve together. In Genesis 1 and 2, we read that God created Adam, saw that it was “not good” for him to be alone, so He created Eve and He told them to “be fruitful and multiply.” Why is this important? Because, God told Adam and Eve to have sex before everything was broken by sin. God said it is good to have sex. So, as parents, we don’t have to fear talking to our kids about something God said is good.
But, sex didn’t stay purely good. When Adam and Eve sinned, sex was broken. We see examples of this throughout the Bible. From the heroes of the faith to all the bad guys, there is no one who doesn’t sin sexually.
Abraham gave his wife to a king, David took advantage of his power as king to have Bathsheba, and Solomon had 700 plus wives and concubines. From beginning to end, the brokenness of sex is all over Scripture.
Jesus says in the sermon on the mount that if we look on a woman (or anyone else) with lustful intent, just once, we have committed adultery with them in our hearts. Wow! That means no one can escape the reality that we are all sinners.
Here is the second big truth, God isn’t shy about telling us about how sex is abused. God tells us about the pain that comes because of sin so that we will want restoration.
But God doesn’t leave us there, He gives us the restorative power of the gospel. He tells us good news that Jesus has come to redeem sexually broken people, even in this part of our lives that can be so hard.
God is in the business of saving and redeeming sinners. He shows this in so many ways, but the ones that help me the most are the stories of the sinners who made it into the genealogy of Christ.
Think about this. Tamar, the daughter-in-law of Judah, dressed like a prostitute and had sex with her father-in-law because he had been unjust. She gets pregnant outside of marriage, and God ensures that she makes it into the genealogy of Christ.
Here is the third big truth God wants us to know, sexual brokenness doesn’t disqualify you from service in God’s kingdom.
In fact, God loves to take people who are broken and use them to show the beauty of the gospel.
As a kid, I was molested. My parents were great parents, and my family loved me. But, one person decided to let their brokenness hurt me. For many years I lived secretly with the guilt and shame of this. I felt dirty and wondered if God could use me. Then God gave me this story, and so many others like it, to restore my brokenness.
Why would Jesus do this for me? Because He is just that good, and when He looks at me He sees His pure, shameless, perfect son.
Redemption doesn’t end with our stories, it ends with what we call the consummation. This means that God is working in us to prepare us for the second coming of Christ.
One of the big pictures that He uses to tell us about our relationship with Him is marriage. He tells us that marriage reflects the church’s relationship with Christ, and that when Jesus returns and takes us to be with Him, we will be presented as a bride—pure and spotless.
This is the last big truth, there is something about the intimacy we share in marriage that tells us about the intimacy we share with Christ. It’s hopeful. We don’t have to be ashamed of sex, because our sex is a picture of something so much better—our relationship with Christ.
So, how do you give your kids a healthy, biblical view of sex and sexuality? Tell them the story, tell them the good news that Jesus is for sinners.
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