Chasing After the Heart of God
I was eighteen years old. I felt paralyzed in my relationship with God. I knew God was real, but my fancy prayers and daily devotionals were not cutting it. I was doing everything right, but it felt all wrong. Yet I thought I was giving God what He wanted.
I began to question—and this good little Bible-belt girl somehow missed the rules for wrestling with her God. As I surveyed my life, I realized doing all the right things had won me the admiration of everyone but God. And I felt empty and prideful. It was worse than rebellion: being good with no God. It was beginning to occur to me maybe God was after something else.
And then I stumbled across a phrase in 1 Samuel 13.
David was “a man after [God’s] own heart” (v. 14).
The phrase intrigued me because I knew David committed murder and adultery—he was no missionary or priest. I saw this man as both completely sold out for God and completely broken. He was in love with God. He lived with an acute awareness of his need for Him.
The closer I have gotten to the life of this man, David, the more my ideas of what God wants from me have been shattered. David had one life and two eyes and one heart, just like me, but they were all laser-focused on the heart of God…my God. David was in love with Him.
And, yes, David sinned and wrestled, just like me. But while he was not so concerned about appearing godly, he was terribly concerned about knowing God. He was a man who saw past his circumstances, past himself, past this life to the heart of God.
We gather together to discover the heart of God. I’m terrified to get it wrong a lot of the time. We rarely, in our busy lives, stop and see Him, really see Him. We are so busy doing things for Him and for everyone else we altogether miss Him. He wants us.
The story of David’s life and his prayers fill God’s Word. It’s as if God was saying, when you open My Word, look at this man, look at his prayers, look at his life, look at his mistakes, look at this faith, and you’ll see Me, My heart.
Jennie Allen is a Bible teacher and author from Austin, Texas. Her new DVD-based study, chase, provides women a chance to discover the heart of God and what it is that He wants from us. This study takes a look at seven major events in the life of David, and his psalms that flowed out of those experiences. Learn more at www.jennieallen.com.