Keeping Secrets from Your Spouse

0 comments Posted on April 25, 2013

Couples of the BibleIsaac had a secret. He deliberately planned to disobey God. When Rebekah discovered it, she could no longer trust her husband.

Instead of waiting for God to work out His plan, this husband and wife selfishly deceived each other. They didn’t wait for God to act or even trust that He would act at all.

Secrets. They can ruin the unity in a marriage. When out of selfishness or fear you hide anything from each other, your relationship is weakened.

Can you imagine permitting your own inferior plans to replace God’s work in your heart and marriage? Yet many people feel it’s OK to hide things from their spouse—fantasies, unbudgeted purchases, wasted hours on the Internet. They say they trust God, but like Isaac and Rebekah, they struggle with selfish pleasures and deceit by keeping secrets from one another.

It doesn’t have to be this way. God gives us the power to break any damaging cycle of dishonesty. He gives us the courage to talk openly with our spouse about hidden motives and actions. It’s not easy to confront our own sin or to speak to our spouse about secrets. But when we confess, repent, and pray for each other, we can begin to experience the closeness with our spouse that God intended.

When you need to discuss a secret, make a specific appointment with your spouse. “After dinner tonight, can we talk?” Then with humility begin the conversation by affirming your love and your desire to do what is right. Confess what you’ve been withholding, and be specific with your concerns. Listen carefully and be willing to patiently wait for God’s timing.

When we ask, we can be assured of God’s presence every day as He is changing our hearts and our marriage. Take courage. Speak the truth in love.

From God’s Word . . .

“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” (1 CORINTHIANS 13:6)

Taken from Couples of the Bible by Robert and Bobbie Wolgemuth. Copyright © 2013. Used by permission of Zondervan.

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