A Peaceful Marriage
by Chuck Bentley
Peace is the oil that makes the engine of your marriage run smoothly in spite of your differences, even during times of suffering. Peacemaking is the foundation for unity, which, in our view, is the key to lasting satisfaction, joy, and intimacy in marriage. But it doesn’t just happen automatically. Oftentimes, we are passively—or aggressively—in conflict with our spouse. We have not sought to make peace and thus are failing to reach the full potential of our marriages because of the lack of unity. This lack of unity directly relates to our financial struggles and impacts our every decision or inability to make a decision together.
You and your spouse must each strive to be a peacemaker, seeking common ground and mutual benefit rather than becoming entrenched in your own agendas or selfish desires. Peacemaking can be practiced in the following ways: being the first to apologize, choosing healing words, learning each other’s love language, resolving misunderstandings and differences of opinion, and learning to treat each other as friends rather than enemies. God wants your marriage to flourish, but that will begin only when you each surrender your desire to lash out, argue, and fight. When you surrender this, your heart will be conformed to God’s image because He is a God of peace. Remember the words from Galatians: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law” (5:22–23).