3 Reminders for the Single Ladies
by Tiffany Bluhm
I’ll never forget Valentine’s Day when I was in the third grade. I had brought shortbread cookies topped with red crystal sprinkles to the school Valentine’s Day party, and I was proud of my efforts to bring a treat I was certain everyone would crave and enjoy. My shiny cookies, amid the other tasty treats, were intended for everyone. But my delight turned to dread in a matter of minutes.
While everyone was sitting and devouring their chosen treats, I spotted the most popular girl in the third grade inspecting one of my shortbread cookies right before she popped it into her mouth. As she chewed, I walked over and wasted no time letting her know that I was the one who had brought the shortbread cookies with the irresistible red crystals. In a split second, she stopped mid-chew and spit out a bite of the once-shiny cookie. I was shocked and embarrassed. As she explained bluntly that she couldn’t eat cookies from a girl like me (a girl with dark skin), I was flushed with shame. There I was in the middle of the lunch hall, me and my cookies left alone.
It wasn’t the last time I ever felt unworthy to be loved for my contribution or simply for my existence, but it sure did sting. I was left questioning why someone would treat me with such disdain simply for who I am. Over time, feelings of loss and loneliness found me as they do for nearly everyone with a pulse. The same questions always came to mind: Is who I am enough? Is what I bring to the table enough?
Perhaps you’ve asked yourself the same questions. Perhaps you’ve wondered if you are too much or too little—not enough of whatever is desired. Perhaps you’ve questioned God’s goodness and faithfulness to you because life has not played out as you expected. The truth is, whether or not we feel alone, whether or not we are single, God is near. God is near in our times of loneliness, our times of grief and our times of questioning.
From the lunchroom to the places where we live and work as grown women, we can find ourselves feeling alone and forgotten; and God’s response each and every time is to remind us of His unfailing presence and love.
No matter what season of life we find ourselves in, there will be lies that threaten our sense of worth—lies that say we’ll always be alone, that no one will pursue us or love us. Those lies can sink our emotional ship if we let them. In the moments when it seems as if everyone else has life figured out and someone to hold them close and root them on, there is a need for truth—the truth that says, “I am beloved. This season won’t always be my season. I am loveable and loved just as I am. Who I am is enough. My worth is not up for negotiation.”
Here are three important reminders based on truth:
1. You are loved.
“For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs” (Zephaniah 3:17, NLT).
2. You are enough.
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10, NLT).
3. Your God is a Redeemer
(no matter what you have endured).
“He provided redemption for his people; he ordained his covenant forever—holy and awesome is his name” (Psalm 111:9, NIV).
So, to all the single ladies this Valentine’s Day, remember who you are: beloved, enough, redeemed. Forever and always.
Tiffany Bluhm is the author of the Never Alone: Exchanging Your Tender Hurts for God’s Healing Grace trade book and companion Bible study Never Alone: 6 Encounters with Jesus to Heal Your Deepest Hurts. She is a speaker and writer who is passionate about helping women come to know their value and purpose because of a loving, redeeming God.
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