by Pat & Ruth Williams
mtl Note: Ever wonder how you can find marital bliss? In Happy Spouse…Happy House, Pat and Ruth Williams offer compassionate and competent coaching for building a strong, secure and successful marriage. Below, this couple shares their strategy for a winning game plan.
How did this book come about?
There is a lament among young women in today’s society that says, “There are no good men out there.” And surely young men are probably thinking the same thing about young women. As the parents of 19 children, we’ve certainly been through the “dating game” numerous times and one of the
things Pat has noticed is not the lack of good young men, but the fact that young men today do not know how to nurture a relationship with young women. Due in large part to the breakdown of the American family, proper role models are simply not there. So these promising young men have simply not been taught how to “court” and keep a woman. The original concept of the book was to speak to young men about how to foster and maintain a lasting and happy marriage with the young woman of his choice.
What is the importance of the message you are sharing?
Pat gets calls weekly from men whose marriages are breaking down. The wife has announced she is leaving. She can’t take it anymore. It is our hope that this book can positively influence couples, who are already married, to have a better marriage and to guide young people, thinking about getting married, to start out the right way.
How did you come across it? What is the BEST formula?
The BEST game plan for a winning marriage lies in the acrostic BEST—bless, edify, share, and touch. To bless means to bless your wife with words of love, to do acts of kindness, to compliment her, and to pray for her. Edifying means to encourage and bring delight to your spouse and to involve her by talking and listening to her. Sharing involves tearing down the walls and really sharing your thoughts and feelings, having a “we” attitude about things, and praying and laughing together. Touching refers to nonsexual touching needed by every woman. It’s the hugs and hand-holding that say “I love you” all the time.
Years ago Dr. Ed Wheat wrote a book called Love Life for Every Married Couple. In his medical practice he dealt with women who came to him with a variety of ailments, but found, in fact, that there was nothing physically wrong with them. As he continued to meet with them, he discovered that they all were in miserable marriages and their misery had manifested itself into physical symptoms. Thus, he came up with his formula for a
successful and happy marriage, the BEST formula that includes the four things every woman needs in a relationship.
Where should a spouse fall in priorities in a marriage?
In our opinion, your spouse is second only to God. Your husband or wife should be at the top of your human priorities. With God as the head and
your spouse as number two, the relationship works the way God intended. That was His plan in the beginning and still is today.
Who is mainly responsible for the success of a marriage?
Without a doubt, the husband must be the leader in the marriage and, thus, has the primary responsibility for the success of the marriage. If he follows the BEST formula, his wife can’t help but be happy and content. She will give her best if he gives his BEST.
Do you have a positive word of encouragement for married couples?
Anyone can have a happy and fulfilled marriage as long as both partners are always looking out for the best of the other. Love and respect should
be the goal of every husband and wife, and the key to achieving that goal is a daily application of the BEST techniques.