Marriage Can Be Glorious
by Debi Pearl
Marriage can be glorious, but a glorious marriage is not handed to us on a silver platter. Like everything in life that is really worth having, it takes a willing heart, hard work and wisdom.
Most of us think we have a willing heart, but few people really do. Our heart is willing when we can turn the other cheek and forget our rights, and do so with a happy countenance. For example, say your husband leaves you sitting in the car with hungry children while he talks to friends; then on another occasion you leave him waiting two minutes because one of the children needed to go to the bathroom and he gets cross. Your rights are violated; he is unreasonable! It is not right, but can you cheerfully let it go? Are you willing to not be irritated, willing to not be perturbed, willing to not think of him as a jerk? Your heart is a hard thing to hide; it is manifested in the rolling of your eyes.
He deserves a set-down. That is undeniable. But our goal is not to make things fair. Our goal is to have a glorious marriage. Are you willing to “take” a little, or maybe a lot, and be just as cheerful and loving as ever? Will you let the miracle of a glorious marriage start with your sacrifice?
When you have made the mental decision, “I am willing,” then you will begin to see brief moments of glory in your marriage. Your sweetheart will spontaneously begin to react to your willing heart and cherish you more, becoming more sensitive to your needs. You think your husband will not change, but the thousands upon thousands of letters I have received from ladies giving testimony to changed men tell me that it is a rare man that can resist being loved, appreciated and obeyed. After the first “honeymoon period” your sweetie might test you—don’t fail his test.
Most people have a carefully cultivated chip on their shoulder that is reserved only for their spouse. We might find it easy to be patient with the faults of friends, but your husband can offend you with very little provocation. If you want a glorious marriage, you must get rid of that chip. It takes a willing heart, but it also takes hard work and much practice to learn a new habit that goes against your emotional grain. It will require you to stop brooding over his offenses.
Remember this has nothing to do with fair. You have a goal—a glorious goal. Change your thinking and you will change your reactions. When you react differently, he will act differently.
Are you on board with me? No argument? If so, you have a willing heart. Now you need wisdom.
Wisdom is knowing your man. God created man in his own image. Just as God is three persons, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, so men express the three aspects of God’s image. Your husband may be like the Father, kingly, wanting to command; or he may be like the Holy Spirit, prophet-like, a visionary, given to big ideas, unpredictable, quick to make judgments; or he may be like the Son, as are most men, priestly, a servant, steady, dependable, slow to make decisions and a friend to all.
Gaining insight into what image your man is created to be will give you wisdom in understanding his likes and dislikes, his weaknesses and strengths, his fears and triumphs, and his unique needs that only his help meet can meet. When you know how and are willing to be the help meet he needs, he will cherish you because you will be the most valuable treasure in his life. When you are truly cherished (and it doesn’t come from demanding it, but from being someone worthy of such devotion), you will suddenly discover that your marriage is glorious beyond your imagination. Others will look on and marvel that he loves and needs you so completely.
Staying steadfast in your willingness to be thankful is just plain hard work. Is it worth the sacrifice of having a giving heart, working so hard to change life-long habits and then the effort to gain the wisdom to know your man? Yes, a resounding yes, from a thousand voices of those women who decided to seek God’s way and now are experiencing a glorious marriage. Will you join us?
Learn more from Created To be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl.