My Journey from Neediness to Freedom
by Paula Hendricks
I wanted off. Off my boy-crazy merry-go-round ride that never stopped its perpetual spinning. It went something like this:
- Spot a cute boy (we’ll call him Boy A).
- Dream about Boy A.
- Do whatever it takes to make Boy A notice me.
- Even though Boy A doesn’t pursue me, hang on to my dream of Boy A until he
(a) moves to the North Pole with no access to a cell phone or computer,
(b) dies and is buried or cremated, or
(c) begins dating another girl.
- Mend my broken heart by hating Boy A and finding another cute boy (Boy B).
- Replace Boy A with Boy B.
- Dream about Boy B.
- Make sure Boy B notices me.
- Hang on to my dream of Boy B until he . . .
- Move on to another cute boy—Boy C.
I went through an entire alphabet—and more—of boys over the years, and it wasn’t long before I experienced just how true Psalm 16:4 is:
“The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply.”
As I became more and more miserable, I tried everything I knew to fix myself. The tools in my tool belt ranged from busying myself, to ignoring guys, to hating guys, to refusing to hope (it’s safer that way), to lying to myself . . . even to wishing I could become a nun. But all my attempts were like slapping a flimsy Band-Aid on a deep, gaping wound. I realized this when I wrote in my journal,
I keep trying to seal up my heart by ignoring and running from guys, but that doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about them.
Colossians 2:20–23 says the same thing. Boundaries and rules aren’t enough to stop me from doing wrong. On their own, they’re not capable of getting to the root issue.
So one day I prayed a crazy, desperate prayer. I asked God to free me from my idols and teach me to trust Him with . . . my love life.
I had no idea just how seriously He would take my prayer. If I had, I wouldn’t have had the guts to pray it.
Pick up Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl to find out the surprising way He answered. Then share the book with a young girl. My story won’t fix your boy-crazy daughter, niece, or sister. But it will point her to One she’s been longing for all along—even if she doesn’t yet see it.
Change is possible. No, boy-crazy girls can’t fix who they are on their own, but God is in the business of transforming broken girls into beautiful trophies of His grace. Jesus didn’t die to forgive us of our sin but leave us in it. He died to forgive and to free us from the power of sin. Freedom is always possible through Him!