Feeling Powerless

0 comments Posted on September 8, 2014

MurphyCoupleOfficialby Larissa Murphy

But Ian—he was steady.

“You’re marrying more than a brain injury,” he told me after a long talk, seven words that convicted my heart.

“But what if I’m not fit to be your helper,” I asked him, my anger and inadequacies seeming too big for me.

Immediately he responded, “No way. You would do anything for me.”

I knew that God was bigger than my fears and bigger than Ian’s brain injury, but the reality of the new life we were heading into, and the way reality felt on bad brain injury days, suffocated me. Was my gut instinct telling me to not marry Ian? Or was that feeling in my gut my heart’s response to choosing a life that would be hard? I didn’t want to step into the darkness of a disabled life, the darkness of feeling powerless on my own to love or be loved. But I didn’t want to step away from it either, because that meant stepping away from Ian.

EightTwentyEight

Excerpted from Eight Twenty Eight by Ian and Larissa Murphy. Copyright 2014 B&H Publishing Group

 

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