Marriage on a Mission
We feel a sense of camaraderie when we come across married couples. When the guy in front of us in the checkout line is obviously buying something for his wife, or when Carey finds himself sitting on the same clothing store bench as a guy who is also waiting for his sweetie, the topic of marriage is a good conversation starter—a nice launch pad for getting to know someone.
Though committed, lasting marriage is often mocked in our culture—“ball and chain” is a phrase that gets bandied about when the subject comes up—both of us try to encourage folks who are engaged or already wed that the years after saying “I do” can be fulfilling and fun. Your union might even be something that God wants to use in the lives of others. Have you two ever considered yourself “on mission” together?
We’re not referring to an uber couple who exists in a state of relationship nirvana. (BTW, those people don’t exist.) However, God could use the wisdom you’ve gained, and even the scars you’ve developed along the way, to help couples who may be just starting out. Someone might find the very experiences you’ve lived through, and the lessons you’ve learned, encouraging and inspirational.
Similarly, have you considered finding two people older and wiser to serve as a “mentor couple”? Think about folks who could be pacesetters for a good marriage, and pray about asking them to meet with you periodically to listen and give advice. The two of us cherish spending time with George and Ruthie. We only see them from time to time, but when we do, we come away refreshed and motivated by their bond.
Like anything else in your lives together, we urge you to be deliberate about building relationships with other couples. God may want to use your marriage to sharpen others’ unions—and you are wise to spend time with those men and women who can sharpen yours.
Carey and Dena Dyer have been married for 21 years and have two sons. They live in Granbury, Texas, which is big enough to have a Wal-Mart but not an Olive Garden. The Dyers are the co-authors of Love at First Fight: 52 Story-Based Meditations for Married Couples (Barbour).