Message in a Stained Glass Window
My life journey as a birthmom—a woman who gave her baby up to adoption—has been a journey of great heights and lows.
The lows…relinquishing my baby girl, Sarah, in 1979 because it was in her best interests, broke my heart in ways that only Heaven can repair. The heights…thirty-five years after relinquishing Sarah to a closed adoption, I am now looking forward to holding Sarah’s first-born, Ian Samuel.
But in the middle of my journey the lows were more prevalent. Sarah and I were reunited in 1999, 20 years after I first relinquished her. But in 2006, I was still struggling with my emotions. It didn’t appear that the close relationship I desired with my birthdaughter was going to transpire. And Sarah had her own heartaches. That year she experienced the first of her many miscarriages.
But the loss of a baby, no matter how that happens, just plain hurts.
Sarah was on my mind when I took a trip that year with my daughter Lana, whom I raised. While I wanted that close mother-daughter bond with Sarah, I knew I couldn’t hope for it, because she shared that with her true mom—her adoptive mom. And I was Lana’s true mom.
It was in the city of Londonderry, N. Ireland that I viewed the Ruth and Naomi stained-glass windows of St. Augustine’s ancient church. The Lord encouraged me. Biblical Ruth and her mother-in-law, Naomi, developed their relationship through sharing great loss and heartache. I had to trust God for my heart’s desires for both of my daughters.
As the years passed, Sarah, Lana, and I have grown closer. Both my daughters were the models on the front covers of my first two books, Shadowed in Silk and Captured by Moonlight. And the beautiful Ruth and Naomi window in St. Augustine’s in Londonderry, was the inspiration behind my romance novella Londonderry Dreaming, an Ebook.
Christine Lindsay writes award-winning historical novels, and her first contemporary romance is Ebook Londonderry Dreaming, set on the rugged northern coast of Ireland. The Pacific coast of Canada is Christine’s home. Drop by Christine’s blog site www.christinelindsay.org follow her on Twitter and be her friend on Pinterest and Facebook.