by Lisa Saruga
The world may seem upside-down and inside-out for you in this season. Let me assure you of one thing: no one understands trauma better than Jesus.
Jesus came to this world fully human and fully God. He had the power to live a life untouched by trauma, but He didn’t employ that power. Jesus knows exactly what it feels like to be a refugee with no safe place to call home. He knows what it feels like to lose a loved one, to be victimized by the rumor mill, to be beaten, to have His life threatened, to be betrayed by a close friend, to be robbed of everything He had, and to face an excruciating, torturous death. And God knows what it feels like to watch His child die. Even Jesus was not spared from trauma.
Scripture is clear that this life will bring both joy and suffering to each of us. We live in an imperfect, incomplete, unknowable world. In John 16:33, Jesus says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
If Jesus had overcome the world, why did He suffer trauma? Because He was a human being living in a fallen and imperfect world. He wanted us to know that He understands, and because He understands, we can ask hard questions. Question away. Cry out in anger. Acknowledge your pain, just like David did in the Psalms. But also take heart.
What does it look like to “take heart”? How do you grab hold of this thing called hope?
Start by acknowledging where you are right now. Acknowledge your pain, your loss, your confusion, your anger . . . all of it. Don’t be afraid to ask God your hard questions. He is strong enough to handle your outrage and to love you anyway.
I am thinking of God as our Father. As a parent, I would never intentionally cause harm to my children. I would never dream of making one of my children sick to teach a lesson. My children are precious blessings to me, and I want nothing but the best for them. And I am a mere human being, imperfect in every way! God is the perfect Father to all His children. He loves us unconditionally and with perfection because He is love. God would never use trauma against you to punish you or to break you.
As much as I cherish my children, they have still been hurt, scared, sad, and even harmed. When my oldest son was two years old, he was excited about potty training. When he would announce that he needed to use the bathroom, we began a laborious process of encouraging, cheering, and celebrating. Following one of his announcements, I trotted behind him saying, “Good job. Let’s get to the potty. Wow, you are incredible!” In his excited, joyous rush, he ran for the bathroom, but his little feet caught the lip of tile that marked the threshold to the bathroom. He tripped over the tile and hit the toilet face-first, breaking his little nose instantly.
What had begun as a potty party with the expectation of a post-potty celebration ended in a trip to the hospital with a sobbing, broken little boy. I still remember holding his hand and telling him how brave he was. After his hospital visit, I rocked him for as long as he wanted to rock and whispered how much I loved him and how proud I was of him. I held him close and felt his pain as if his body were my own. I would have done anything to make him feel better, so I poured my love into him in every possible way. I put my lips on his head and said, “I love you, Buddy. You are so brave. It’s going to be okay. I promise you will feel better. I love you. Mommy will make sure you get all better. You are going to be okay.”
Although I would never wish a broken nose on my little boy, his recovery time stands out in my mind as a time of love, snuggles, comfort, reassurance, and powerful connection. It would break my heart if my son remembered it as a time when I tried to teach him to use the toilet by breaking his nose, and that he no longer loved or trusted me because of the event. Can you imagine? If he had rejected me because of his trauma, I would have been powerless to comfort him and shower him with my love.
Child, your heavenly Father didn’t cause your pain. He was not trying to teach you a lesson, nor was He being vindictive. Your Father sees and understands your pain. He wants to comfort you and to heal you. Listen closely, because I believe He is saying, “I love you. It’s going to be okay. I promise you will see My goodness again in this lifetime. You are going to be okay.”
Tell Him how you feel. Ask Him to hold you close. Ask Him your hard questions. He has the ability to listen and even to answer. Trust Him.
Lisa Saruga is a licensed professional counselor, EMDR trauma therapist, speaker, and author. She’s certified as a legal and ethical specialist by the American School Counselor Association. Saruga’s advocacy extends to legislative efforts for survivor justice and her impactful contributions as a writer, notably in Carolyn Stone’s School Counseling Principles: Ethics and Law. Her debut book, The Trauma Tree, signifies a new chapter in her commitment to empowering others, marking her as a prominent voice in the field. Find her at lisasaruga.com.
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