by Debra Fileta
The last time I was at the beach with my family, I met an older gentleman who was treasure hunting with his metal detector. He showed me how the detector worked, and the sound it made when it found something beneath the surface of the sand. He talked to me about some of the valuable things he’d found, as well as some of the false alarms.
This reminded me of the world I live in as a counselor: the world of emotions. Like a metal detector, emotions are the signal our body transmits as it’s assessing what’s going on underneath the surface of our lives. They bring our attention to the buried things we need to stop and pay attention to or deal with.
A significant part of having a healthy soul is being able to tune in to the signals, to recognize the real alarms and the false alarms, and to respond to them accordingly.
Unfortunately, many people grow up doing the exact opposite: They ignore their feelings completely. Many Christians fall into this category when they believe “faith over feelings” means they should ignore their feelings altogether. But that concept is neither healthy, nor biblical. In fact, those who live this way are actually ignoring their God-given signals instead of responding to them.
REACTING VERSUS RESPONDING
To respond to an emotion means recognizing the feeling, getting to the bottom of what it might mean, and then choosing to act in a way that is beneficial to yourself and those around you. The opposite is reacting to an emotion: shutting down or withdrawing when you feel frustrated, shouting or cursing when you get angry, or defaulting to an addiction to numb any uncomfortable feelings. Instead of using the feelings to help you heal, you use the feeling as an excuse for unhealthy behaviors. Remember, feelings are not bad or good; they are simply signals. It’s how we respond to feelings that leads us down healthy or unhealthy paths.
JESUS WAS EMOTIONAL
The healthiest person to walk the face of this earth was a man in tune to His emotions. Jesus allowed Himself to feel the signals His body transmitted. When He felt something, He recognized the signal and then responded accordingly.
Jesus responded to His sorrow with gratitude to God the Father (John 11:40-41), to His exhaustion by setting limits (Luke 5:16), to His anger by pursuing justice (John 2:13-22), to His compassion by practically meeting the needs of those around Him (Matthew 14:13-21), and to His agony by choosing truth in response to the pain His body was experiencing (Luke 22:44).
Jesus didn’t just feel; He responded to His feelings in a healthy way.
Emotions are God-given signals to help you pay attention to the things going on beneath the surface of your life. As we care for our souls, it’s our job and our job alone to tune in to the signals and respond accordingly.
Adapted from Soul Care by Debra Fileta (© 2024). Published by Harvest House Publishers. Used by permission.
Debra Fileta, M.A., LPC is a licensed professional counselor, national speaker, and author of Are You Really OK? She’s also the founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. Through her popular blog (TrueLoveDates.com) and podcast (Love & Relationships), she shares the message that healthy people make healthy relationships. Debra and her husband, John, have been happily married for 15 years and have four beautiful children. Learn more about Debra at www.DebraFileta.com.
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