by Emily A. Jensen and Laura Wifler
Over the last decade, the two of us (Emily and Laura) have embarked on our own journeys to understand what a good mom really is. If you’re familiar with our ministry, Risen Motherhood, then you might know that as sisters-in-law and friends, we talked regularly in the little years, discussing our everyday experiences as new moms. While we asked each other questions about how God’s Word applied to first foods, naptime routines, and work, we didn’t realize we were asking something even deeper. Ten years into our own motherhood journeys, our deepest question started to crystallize—we didn’t just want to know what to do in motherhood, but who to be.
We’ve seen moms try to answer this question in a myriad of ways. (And of course, we’ve done it ourselves too!) It’s like we imagine a blank line before the word mom, and then we fill in that blank with something that feels like a fit. The thought process, though often subconscious and complex, might cycle through subcultures and stereotypes: homesteading mom, urban mom, overseas-missionary mom, crunchy mom, gentle-parenting mom, homeschool mom, empowered mom, trendy mom, influencer mom, stay-at-home mom, career mom, chill mom, clean-living mom, I-do-what-I-want mom, you-can’t-put-me-in-a-box mom, and so on.
Deep down, it seems like if we can just find the right word to fill in the blank, it will shore up our wavering hearts and give us the assurance we need that we’re doing motherhood “right.” We think if we just get the right picture, then we’ll have a model. And if we have a model, then there can be a handbook. And a handbook means we can finally have a formula for motherhood, erasing (or at least easing) the questions, fears, and ambiguities of our role. A tangible model for motherhood means we can be a little more sure that we’re doing it “right” and have a measuring stick to check our progress.
But here’s the catch—no matter how much we try to model ourselves after a certain type of mom, we’ll never be able to execute it perfectly. We’ll find that we fall short and can’t keep up in certain areas. Or that life hands us trials, sorrows, and circumstances we never expected and don’t fit the mold we were trying to fit ourselves into. We might find that for a time, we can hold it all together according to our cultural model, but even that can lead to a smug and judgmental attitude as we puff ourselves up for finding “the one right way.” Eventually, we find that we’re still not totally happy with the mom we are, and we’re left longing and questioning.
Our bent to fill in the space before mom is a good one. There is a word that can fill in the blank before mom and it’s probably not the word you’ve been searching for—Gospel mom.
The purpose of our motherhood is ultimately rooted in God and His good design. It’s not about us; it’s about Him. As women created in God’s image, we exist to “glorify God and enjoy Him forever.”* We do that first and foremost by acknowledging the “bad news” that we are sinners who fall short of the glory of God and have no ability to accomplish this purpose by ourselves. Then, by believing and confessing the gospel or “good news” that Jesus Christ came to save sinners through His life, death, and resurrection, we’re made new.
Knowing Christ changes everything about who we are and how we live, including our motherhood. It isn’t just about one moment in history where Jesus hung on a cross; it encapsulates a story that we are invited to be a part of, and it gives us answers to our deepest longings and questions. As the gospel compels us to look to Christ, we learn who we really are, who we need, and who we should be. We start to understand our past and look forward to our future. We discover where we can get life, hope, help, joy, peace, rest, love, comfort, strength, and so much more. Our identities are secured so that no matter what happens to us or how we stumble, we’re safely bound to Christ, all the way through, until we reach home.
Mom, God does have a person He wants you to model your life after, and that person is His son, Jesus Christ. God doesn’t give you a formula or a precise point-by-point, product-by-product guide for every minute decision in motherhood, but He does give you His Word, with the instructions you need to walk wisely through your unique motherhood journey. God doesn’t leave you to figure all of it out on your own. He gives you His Spirit (and the church) to empower, help, and guide you along the way.
* “Shorter Catechism of the Assembly of Divines: The 1647 Westminster Confession and Subordinate Documents,” A Puritan’s Mind, accessed November 29, 2022, https://www.apuritansmind.com/ westminster-standards/shorter-catechism/.
Emily A. Jensen is an author, a podcaster, and the cofounder and content director of Risen Motherhood. Emily’s first book (coauthored with her podcast partner and sister-in-law, Laura Wifler), Risen Motherhood: Gospel Hope for Everyday Moments, has sold over 100,000 copies. Emily lives in Ames, Iowa, with her husband and their five children.
Laura Wifler is the cofounder and Executive Director of Risen Motherhood. She cohosts the popular Risen Motherhood podcast and is the coauthor of the bestselling book of the same name. She is also the author of Any Time, Any Place, Any Prayer. Laura lives in central Iowa with her husband and three children.
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