by Hillary Morgan Ferrer & Julie Loos
When women pray, it’s often for other people. We pray for our husbands, for our children, for our friends and family. But what about praying for ourselves? Does this make you feel a little uncomfortable? If so, you’re not alone, and your reasons are most likely very noble. But I would like to make the argument that praying for ourselves is one of the most important things we can do as Mama Bears.
I suspect we believe that praying for ourselves is selfish because we don’t know what we should be praying for. When we pray for others, our words often revolve around comfort, peace, success, and health. It feels right to pray this way for others, but asking for our own comfort and prosperity? Well, that just feels a bit gross.
Truth is, these aren’t necessarily bad things to ask God for. He is a good Father who delights in giving good gifts to His children (Matthew 7:11). But I wonder if praying for ourselves might become more natural if we looked a little further upstream, so to speak. Rather than asking for outcomes (such as health, prosperity, and comfort), what if we prayed for righteous desires? It’s the “give a man a fish and he eats for a day; teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime” principle. Pray for the desired outcome, and you may get it once. Ask the Lord to change your desires, cravings, habits, and heart, and you will affect a thousand outcomes in the future. (Now, praying this prayer doesn’t give us permission not to act if we don’t “feel” like it. But man, isn’t it easier to obey when you truly want to?)
When we begin to pray for the right desires, we’re not just praying for outcomes; we’re praying for faithfulness through the process. And when we grow in faithfulness, our character, patience, struggles, repentance, victories, and yes, even our failures, serve as valuable discipleship opportunities for our children. Walking the Christian life is hard! Sanctification (the process of ridding ourselves of sin and replacing it with obedience) is hard. It’s a slow, steady process of disciplining our wills—and then allowing our hearts to follow. Praying to crave the Word, to desire the things of God, to cultivate healthy habits, and for the Lord to gently remove the chaff from our lives is the opposite of selfish. As with all the prayers in our book, it is our Mama Bear hope that you would use them as a launching point to find words specifically tailored to you and your own struggles.
Honest Prayer
God, I want to invest in what will last into eternity, but the petty things of the world keep taking my attention. I know this world is temporary and that all things here will eventually pass away, so please reform my perspective and help me prioritize what matters most. I pray that You would give me the spiritual eyes to see the things that will have eternal weight, no matter how mundane they may feel in the here and now. Lord, I know there are some battles that need to be fought, and other battles are just distractions. Please give me the wisdom to tell the difference. If there is anything I am fixating upon that’s keeping me from eternal things, please reveal it to me.
You have put so many good things in my path, but they are not my ultimate things. Some good things may not be my responsibility. My primary tasks are being Your daughter, nurturing my marriage, and shepherding my children. Lord, may I be faithful to that which You have given me, knowing the fruits of my obedience will last after I am gone. I praise You that I have more than just this life to live for. Help me to live it well, knowing that faithfulness in even the smallest of callings will echo long into eternity.
Honest Journaling
Read through Colossians 3:1-17 and meditate on it. In your journal, make a list of time-suckers in your life. Which of these things don’t really bring you refreshment or aren’t of eternal importance? Which one can you cut down on each day or week?
Hillary Morgan Ferrer, founder of Mama Bear Apologetics®, has a burden for providing accessible apologetics resources for busy moms. She has a master’s in biology, and her specialties are in cultural apologetics, the relationship between science and faith, and understanding the root causes of doubt. Hillary and her husband, John, have been married for more than 17 years and minister together as an apologetics team in Iowa.
Julie Loos has a passion for biblical truth and has been a contributor for both flagship Mama Bear Apologetics books. She has a BA in journalism and psychology from the University of North Carolina as well as a certificate in apologetics from Biola University, and she has served in leadership with Moms in Prayer International for more than two decades. Julie and her husband, Todd, live in Missouri, have two grown sons, and are now enjoying being grandparents.
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