She’s Not My Baby Anymore

2 comments Posted on August 6, 2015

Sarah Sundinby Sarah Sundin

Less than three weeks ago, our daughter got married. Since her engagement in November, my husband and I have experienced the strange push and pull of helping a fledgling out of the nest.

As in every stage of parenting, we grappled with control. When do you relinquish control and allow the child to fly or to fall? When do you maintain control? And when do you force your child to take control even though they don’t want to?

Weddings magnify this. While we controlled certain aspects, such as the size of the overall budget, we let our daughter make most of the decisions and even insisted she do tasks she didn’t want to. Our greatest joys came from watching her exercise her creativity, discover new strengths, and learn new tasks, all while leaning more on her fiancé and the Lord, and less on us.

In the process, I realized she isn’t my baby anymore. And I’m glad. She’s so much more than that. She’s an adult, a godly and mature young woman.

Isn’t that the goal of parenting anyway? Not to raise children, but to raise adults?

So now my husband and I slip into new roles, and watch our daughter and our newest son fly together.

Through Waters Deep

Sarah Sundin is the author of seven historical novels, including Through Waters Deep (Revell, August 2015), plus a novella in Where Treetops Glisten (WaterBrook, September 2014). Her novel On Distant Shores was a double finalist for the 2014 Golden Scroll Awards. Sarah works on-call as a hospital pharmacist and teaches Sunday school and women’s Bible studies. You can find her at


  • 08/07/2015
    Maris Bennett said:

    I so relate. Our 24-year-old dYghfer, though still at home, has been testier wings for a while now. She’s impressed me by working steadily since her junior year of high school. What is extremely gratifying, though, is her transformation since joining Fellowship Church: doing a time-intensive internship (while finishing up at LMC) that involved periodic travel and serving a recent mission in the Dominican Republic. I can feel her stretching those wings more & more. Even though I know we are meant to raise adults, I already can sense what her leaving the nest will feel like.

  • 08/08/2015
    Sarah Sundin said:

    Hi Maris! It’s bittersweet, isn’t it? We do everything we do as parents so that they CAN fly. But then they fly AWAY 🙂 Seeing them flourish on their own is worth it though.


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